"So much pain unmasks it form,"

add the "s" to its

Killed the private memories,
Compassion left behind.
Ignored the will to fight and fell,
And slowly lost her mind.

ignored the will to fight and fell.

Should be some punctuation to indicate she ignored the will to fight and in turn fell, not ignored the will to fight and fell, makes it seem like she's ignoring the will to fight and fall, needs to be seperate, add a coma? you'll figure it out.

WOW
i liked it a lot,
flow was really good, rhymes well thought out and unforced, emotional powerful topic without being too depressing and overwhelming.

the closing stanza was very powerful, i love all the imagery, the feeling of pain at seeing someone you love hurt themselves, at being hurt that others want to give up, but the helplessness and being near the edge of that decision as well.

it was a little long, but i have written very long pieces too so cannot say this is a bad thing. and reading it i can not think of anything to take out.

I really enjoyed this, and give it a 5/5.

keep up the good work.
=)

But understanding this crash landing,
- but to understand this crash landing
the two -ing's kinda bothered me, lol. I know that's titsyteeny. But it does make a difference in flow, when reading

Good poem, good emotion. I enjoyed it
My stepdads mom is bi-polar, it's a hard thing to deal with.

Amazing piece. I loved it all!
5/5

This poem conveys so many emotions so clearly; anger, loneliness, frustration, pain, helplessness. I had a friend who suffered from bi-polar depression a little over a year ago now so I understand the effect it has on the people around them and whilst the emotions in this poem may seem to some to be mixed and confused, that's exactly what it felt like to me. Some days I'd be angry with him for not accepting the help he was asking for, others I'd pity him for what he was going through. I don't think there's a problem with the length of the poem as it flows well and therefore retains the reader's interest. There were a lot of lines that stood out to me, especially the imagery in the last two lines. My favourite stanza overall was this one:

There is no way to fix her,
And it's not my fight to win.
I didn't cause her agony,
And I cannot heal her sin.

It's really effective in showing how even though none of this is your fault and you can't fix it, you want to do something. It's helplessness defined.

5/5 for an emotional write I can really relate to.

I haven't read anything from you in so long!! It was awesome as always... So effective and deep, emotional, moving... U always are though! I'm so glad to see you still write. I haven't wrote anything in such a long time! I'm havin a baby in August and it just got away from me. I hope you haven't forgotten me love!!!

There was so much emotion in this verse. A long one yes but, well worth the read.

A bit long and it seemed a little bit forced at times. I like the rhyme and flow but some of the words were just a bit strange. I would try not to use the word "But" so much in your work it kind of gets old after a while.... takes away from the flow of your piece. All in all it wasn't terrible, but a couple touch-ups would makei t better.... nicely done :)