Strength

This is the hardest thing I'll have to do,
the hardest things i'll have to say,
it's all because of you,
that I can no longer stay.

We tried really hard, to make whatever this is work,
or maybe I tried, you just didn't care.

I saw the signs, I ignored each one.
I heard everything you said, tried so hard not to let it sink in.

Sunk in, it did. Soaked through and through with all your words, your lies, your hurt, your trying.

I want to scream, I want to shout, I want you to know everything and then I want out.

This grasp you hold, this power you have, I need it cut loose, I need to breathe.

Hands at my throat, I can't defend myself. I feel hopeless, lost, hurt.
It's on me this time, I let you in with no guard, no means of protection to my heart.

I thought things were different this time, but apparently I don't mean anything to you, I was just a crutch for her, for when she came back.
Now it's like I'll never exist, like I almost never did.

I had a fear, that if I let you go , you wouldn't even notice nor care. But this fear has been taken over by grief.

No longer can I be a friend; a helping hand. You used me up, you sucked me dry. I have no more hope, no more love, no more confidence--it's all gone.

You broke me down again. I need to regain some strength, I need to find the person I'm supposed to be. Can't be sad or hurt by you anymore, just need to walk out the door.

The hardest thing is to tell you all of this. I don't know if I ever will. You'll stay in my heart though, whether I want you to or not, you'll be there. Caring for someone doesn't end with a goodbye.

I hope someday you'll realize what you're soon to lack, but then again, that will keep me wondering. So maybe, just don't think of me at all.
I'll try not to cry, I'll try not fight; it'll be a losing battle on my end. I never could let you go.
I hope I gain the strength to get out of this grasp. I can't afford to lapse, need to see this thing through.

Give me strength, the hardest thing I have to do; is say goodbye to you.