Lost in me

Yes i am LOST IN
me.
yes I HAVE lost something.

NO I will NOT TALK!
NO i will not BE NICE!
WHAT IS THE USE OF YOUR COMMANDS?
DID YOU THINK OF ME IN YOUR MIND?

did you form me with clay?
did you say "this will be my daughter"
before you found those 9 months,
before you found those months?

DID YOU ALWAYS KNOW MY NAME?
DID YOU ALWAYS KNOW WHAT SKIN I WOULD HAVE
OR MY EYES
OR IF I WOULD LOOK INDIAN
OR YOUR LITTLE PAKISTANI GIRL?

why did you?
why did you?
why did you?
why DID YOU?

i had asked so nicely
to please "listen to me"
and you pushed me away.

i had asked, pleading,
please "spend time with me"
but you went with someone else.

when is it my turn?
when will i stop crying?
why did you do this to me?
why did you leave me in the arms of a cruel father?

why did you abandon me?
God never did.
WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME?
i left you too.