Perhaps

Lu,

I read this piece when you first posted it, but I admit i've been slack with commenting & writing for that matter. I've been looking for inspiration so i've been checking out the poems within the club walls and remembered I forgot to comment on this & I have to because I have a lot to say, as always :P

First of all, the question you were asked is perhaps one of the most difficult for a person to answer, & the answer within this poem is exactly how I would of answered it. You know, i've told you much about me, my life, relationship ect & I know you know I relate to this piece in more way then one.. I canno't forgive, for some things are just too painful that they latch onto our hearts and it's a constant stuggle each day to forget about them, but even in happy times they are brought back into our lives, perhaps by ourselves to remind ourselves what people are capable of. I when I let down my guard do this as I feel guilty for allowing myself to be vulnerable. You wrote exactly what I have felt Lu, & for that I thank you because you have put words to paper that I could never do.

The emotion was raw and real in this poem and that's what makes a great poem, allowing others to feel what you do. I love how much your poetry has changed, i adore the style & i'm really proud of it. This poem was a perfect example of how great of a writer you are.

I found the form to be unique, I liked the format, the use of forgive and forget give to me a representation of lips, they look like lips to me, which actually works well with the meaning of the poem when looked upon from different perspectives.

The only thing I can give some constructive critism on is the fact you used "beneath" twice, in the last two lines. It's not a big issue, but perhaps to me it would of worked better it one was 'neath. So therefore it wouldn't sound the same.

I adored this poem Lu, Such an excellent read by you. It's about time you've posted something new! and I hope to see much from you shortly.

Much love.
-Mel

Luanne
I'm so glad I found this today. I have so much time to just sit and think. This really touched my inner being.

Trust
perished in the fires
of Betrayal

Trust something that is hard to give. When it is betrayed the pain can be almost unbearable. Especially when you find out the ones you trusted saw your gulliablity using it for their advantage.

The mind
broken - confused
The soul
weeping - aching

When you are a person that gives your all to a friendship or realationship and you get hurt it is so hard ton pick up the pieces and move on.

- Oscillating-

-------------- F
---------- O
-------- R
----- G
--- E
- T

- F
--- O
----- R
------- G
----------- I
------------- V
---------------- E

Those are the two most important words. Can you have one without the other?

Perhaps
upon death ...
when the last breath
falls shallow
and the last word
spoken

Or -

Perhaps
like a deep dark secret
those words too ...
shall lay beneath the soil

I would rather not take a hurt like that to the grave with me. I want to die with a clear mind and heart. I have learned through the years. That to forgive you also have to be willing to forget. Otherwise the dark shadow of the things you can't forget keep coming back to haunt your mind.

Buried forever, beneath dead flowers !

Excellent write Luanne
Take care
Love you
Cindy

Ahh lu,u always make my days.

This is brilliant!! It's amazing how a simple question unintentionally inspires a pen :)

"Trust
perished in the fires
of Betrayal"
^
Love love love this stanza, for an opening, it's just perfect.

This piece is darkened with so much sadness, I could almost feel every single word and sensation put into it, for I know about trust and forgiveness.

I love it sweetie, I'm so glad you're back because just yesterday I was checking your profile and wishing you'd written anything.

Please shine on because you are my constellation :)
~Hugs~