Pain

Can you notice my pain?
It runs deep through my veins
Can I share it with you all?

I'm labeled as a troubled writer
who can you blame?
Writing helps me take away the pain
Why do I feel hopeless?
With these feelings
I can't worry
Even though my writing is on the slant
Cos my visions blurry
Try to understand me
What else could I do?
I had to support family
What else can I do now?
But be a troubled writer
I started college
That helped me get away from the pain
Got my mind out of danger
Even speaking to a complete strangers
Sometimes though I heard my family's cries
Oh why do we experience pain at an early age?
I was so young
My sister was even younger
But I was feeling pain and rage
My memories of a him
Are sick and twisted
I hate seeing him
Cos it just reminds of the pain we went through
That I don't want us to go through again
I've never been able to feel the same
Just cos in my past
There was so much pain

Oh there was so much pain
Now I will never feel the same
Too much pain
Still flowing through my veins
And it's all cos of you

My early teens were emotional
Hearing her and him fight
They usually started late at night
And went through to the early hours
Hearing her scream back as he verbally beats her down
When he started it usually ended up full blown
He acted the fool and he's supposed to be a man fully grown
Never looked it and still doesn't look it to me
Still a child in an adults body as fair I can see

I had to watch mine and my sisters back
When he decided it was time to step
He'd finished with her and start on us
Verbally bashing us...making us realise our flaws
As much as I wanted to I didn't cry
Had to stay strong for my family
Even though the pains deep
It's the memories I will never forget
One day everything's fine
Then the next day
He'd step back into his pain game
It was always the same
As usual we were the ones to blame
We tried to give some slack
But we had to be realistic
No confusion though
Any minute he could go ballistic
If you got on the wrong side
He would start kicking up major dust
Don't get in the way, his temper is about to bust
I know there's a lot of pressure
But don't take it out on her
Look at her...she's crying
Cos you've brought us so much pain

Oh there was so much pain
Now we will never feel the same
Too much pain
Still flowing through our veins
And it's all cos of you

By Jay Basey © 2009