You are my everything..
by XxxbriannaxxX

"Love.. its what keeps me going..
it keeps me wondering during the day.
&& keeps me awake at night.."
The first person objective pronouns in these lines make it less general and more personal

it really makes you think about everything..
it makes you believe that there's hope..
and makes you wonder at the same time..

the first" it" would have more power if it were maybe a phase such as" being in love"

it makes you smile.
and makes tears fall at times.
but makes you feel at home..

its confusing at times.
but when your with that person..
you know everything will be okay..

when your in love...
its impossible to let go.
and even more impossible to forget..

when you're in love

funny thing is. when you loose that person you love..
no pain can even compare.
it feels like you've died && came back..
completely empty..

but love..
it's everything..
&& you are my everything..

The repetition of love, it and you is a powerful blend to express romantic love though and it did grow on me in a nice way

Your first line is very clever. At first i thought you meant 'keeps me going' as in keeps my alive, but then i read your other 2 lines and it was totally different from what i expected! yay i love surprises. haha

I love the truth this piece contains, it is all so true! nice work :)

I read this one and also 'I gave you everything' and I do like how different they contrast each other. it's very well written. I would consider maybe making a joint one and see how that turns out, like a love hate thing. just something to think about. anyways great work. 5/5