I miss us.

[[this is just me venting.. its not rely a poem.]]

Weak in the heart.
Im on the edge, falling apart.
Buckets of tears, I'm living my worst fear... being without you.
I no longer feel alive, and on my own its more than hard to survive.
I call to you hoping you hear my desperate screams, with sleepless nights and broken dreams.
I can't live like this much longer, I want you in my arms again to help me get stronger.

I guess I'm to afraid to face you again, which is another fear of mine that I let win.

I'm still confused on what happened though....
One day were the happiest we could ever be, the next day was 2 years as a couple just washed and wasted away.

I wait for you call, hoping that you'll be the next one to text me tell me your okay.... I can't tell you how I long to hear I love you just one last time.

It was hard to let you go.
You probably can't even imagine.

I'm sorry I embarass you.
I'm sorry I cause you so much pain.
I'm sorry I fought with you.
I'm sorry I let you go once.
I'm sorry I caused so much tension.
I'm sorry I never trusted you.
I'm sorry I chose my best friend over you all those times.
I'm sorry I wasn't enough.
I'm sorry I worried all tha time.
I'm sorry I didn't understand.
I'm sorry I was never there.
I'm sorry I made you hurt yourself.
I'm sorry I made you worry all tha time.
I'm sorry I hurt myself over you when I should just came to you.
I'm sorry I would'nt let you help me with my problems.
I'm sorry for our breakup.

I wana make up...
I know for a fact that would be hard or it may not even happen at all.

Yea I act like im okay,but tha truth is its all an act.
I'm F^cked up emotionally.
I fake these smiles.
Hide the tears til no ones watching.
Hide the scars.
Hide the bruises.
Hide the hurt.
Try my best to show I'm not in pain.

I miss you... so much.

Why can't things just go back to the way they used to be.
I cry EVERY nite over you.

I was stupid for letting you go.
I was selfish.
I was spiteful.
I was never thinking of you.
So many thoughts and emotions run through my head every day controlling me in ways ive never felt before.

How do I stop this?
Youu were there to do that for me.

How can I make these feelings disappear?
Youu were the one to make them disappear.

How can I stop loving you?
It wasnt hard for you to stop loving me,or was it?

Questions with no answers....

Lies I'm not sure of.

But I miss you... more than you'll ever know.

I think of you constantly.

Thinking of if I'll ever get another chance with you... I dream of that. But something tells me it wont come true.

If you read this I hope you respond, I have no idea without you how im livin on.

I'm pretty sure you have another girlfriend.
She's probably a whole lot prettier than me.
Smarter than me.
Better than me at everything.
Talented.

Do you still think of me at all?
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Do you want me back like I want you back?
Do you care like I care?

It's tough, and these days creep by with nothing but pain.

Believe me or not...
One thing I am sure of is that I love you with all my heart and I always have... always will.

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