My wife

by Nelle   Jun 4, 2010


I haven't written anything in months, probably a year. I'm not too sure. I know this is a little rocky, but I'm trying to get back into it again, so honest criticism is much appreciated.

I met this girl and we fell in love
She came to me from heaven above
We got married and started a life
I'm happy to announce, she is my wife

We have our downs, but that's nothing new
In our toughest fights we still breakthrough
She sees me for me, and nothing less
This girl has my heart, I must confess

Kerri is her name, I'll say it aloud
I don't care how big the crowd
She holds my hand when times get rough
I let her know when I've had enough

This girl I tell ya, she's something special
I'm sure half the time she thinks I'm mental
She is my baby, my darling love
But of course, she's my angel from above.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by MaSkEdSoUl

    I liked it, it flowed nicely. But for the last part

    "But of course, she's my angel from above. "

    you could put "angel from up above", thats just my opinion :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Shinobi

    It is kind of cheezie, but indeed a nice poem. It reminds of a childrens poetry actually, no offence. I liked the playful rhymes aabb. The words were simple but straight from the heart. There were some parts of it that ruined the flow a bit, seemed like you wrote them just for the sake of a rhyme, such as: "I don't care how big the crowd" I'd try to find another sentance to switch it with. Overall I enjoyed reading it, you still have some potential :) 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Your words were simple yet powerfully put, your flow is a little rocky in some places, but other than that your poem shows deep emtion.

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