Lost Friends

This i a wonderful poem

This poem is a bit low leveled compare to the other one I read. For starters please fix this: "We we're best friends" to this: "We were best friends". Second, the lines were cut, as to show the gravity of this situation. The bonds are ripped, like the lines. The rhymes were still there, and throughout the poem I could sense the short breathness. You really put a lot of thought into the structure, and although the words were a bit more simple, it made the whole poem worth reading. Again, 5/5

First of all, Punctuation is needed in this poem. Not only does it add to the overall flow/structure of the piece, but it all adds depth to it since the reader knows when to pause or stop reading.

For example, without changing too much of your poem:

I don't understand,
why people lie...
To not hang-out,
to make you cry.

I don't understand,
why things changed...
We were best friends,
now you're just ashamed!

I don't understand,
why you ignore me...
Leave me hanging there
and always hating me.

I don't understand,
how my best friends
can just desert me
and throw me off the deep-end.

~~~~~~~~~~

Secondly, I would say that the overall messege is good, not great, but good. The flow is alright, but could be better, I'll get to that in a minute.

I do however, like the repetition of "I don't understand"

Also in the second stanza, the word "we're" should be "were"

Okay, now getting back to the flow of the poem. For a simple example, I'll re-write the first stanza to make it flow and be better in terms of depth (in my opinion).

So...here is your original first stanza:

"I don't understand
Why people lie
To not hang-out
To make you cry"

My example:

I don't understand,
why people lie...
hang you out to dry,
to make you cry.

~~~~~~~~~~

Overall, not the best, but not the worst. I liked the repetition. but felt the flow could've been slightly better. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Peace, Joe