Frosted Heartbreak (Triple Rictameter)

by Lady Nik   Jun 9, 2010


Cold air
lingers with your
frail picture on the wall
your glow has faded and I see
the agony you kept inside your smile.
I never knew pain until you
vanished from the future
leaving behind
the past.

Coated
like layers
of aloneness drape me
when stuck inside a dry slumber.
You were the humidity of the night
now I must lay with brittle sheets
comfort gone along with the
essence in life--
my heart.

Frozen
over like a
lake in a bad snowstorm.
How do I heat what has died?
Life needs warmth and you are so cold.
There is no way to cure this hurt
or fix this pain from my
lovely frosted
heartbreak.

*Rictameter 2-4-6-8-10-8-6-4-2. One of my favorite forms to use*

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by yblehs

    "Frozen
    over like a
    lake in a bad snowstorm."
    I really like this simile(:
    I really liked your poem too, the stanzas were unique looking. and your words were strong. Keep up the good work.

  • 14 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I think this is done really well as your poems usually are haha I enjoyed the honesty your words had when talking above love and heartbreak. Even if we know we're unhappy its often so hard to break lose of the love thats slowly killing us. No matter how bad things get the lake can only stay frozen for so long :) Fantastic job with this piece it was very unique and strong all the way through. 5/5 from me well done

  • 14 years ago

    by chind

    Wow ... that was amazing, for some reason it sent a little chill up my spine. I loved it, the ending stanza was just .... perfect. good work (Y)

  • 14 years ago

    by Chelsey

    HOLY COW..this was awesome! I'm jealous I wish I could write one this well!!...I agree with Alicia...those two lines were also my favorite! Very nicely penned, and the flow was just awesome!
    Chels

  • 14 years ago

    by Weeping Willow

    You were the humidity of the night
    now I must lay with brittle sheets

    this is the best line of a poem i have ever read i love your stuff read some of mine you might like

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