Comments : Spirit Of You

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    A very well written poem, I could feel every word and this poem could not have touched me more. Awesome

  • 14 years ago

    by Thomas

    "Embraced by the spirit of you,
    its majestic wings spread wide,
    soaring upward to clear skies of blue,
    a lone eagle filled with pride."

    A good starting image, an eagle, a quite regal creature. For it to be embraced by someone's spirit is an interesting idea, an interesting concept that you use throughout the poem. And I quite enjoy that concept, as it really pulls everything together nicely. I also like that you went with alternating rhyme (abab, cdcd) as it works well in this piece. It could work without the 1st and 3rd lines rhyming, but I do feel the way it is written is better than having those lines unrhymed.

    "Embraced by the spirit of you,
    standing tall, proud in a field of green,
    swaying in the wind as if to bid adieu,
    a solitary dandelion paints the scene."

    Now, I was taken aback by the singular presence in this stanza, but it was in a good way, because I rarely think of dandelions. They are so often just accepted as being there, a small yellow smudge in a mass of green. But it's well-put in defining it as "solitary", as quite often you see dandelions in groups, a field of them even. Also, the image of the dandelion swaying in the wind, then referenced to someone waving goodbye, is absolutely beautiful.

    "Embraced by the spirit of you,
    veins of red compose
    petals covered with droplets of dew,
    a single white rose."

    In this section, I personally like that you used a white rose, rather than the so-often seen red. It's a welcome change. On another note, your word choice is very strong throughout the poem. Your descriptions are quite easy to visualize, to imagine, and you bring out their effect without excessively flowery language.

    As a whole, I truly enjoyed this piece. You did everything well, from diction to imagery, to your rhyming. Nothing felt forced and the lines flowed smoothly into each other. Well done.

  • 14 years ago

    by Grant Gilbert AKA Slash

    I think i have always been a sentimental fool, i have been embraced by this very same spirit and am a better person for it, though i may have been found sorely lacking as a father my love for him will forever be strong. May his spirit soar in peace. Beautifully written my friend. Grant

  • 14 years ago

    by Dreamofolwin

    What a wonderful poem Sylvia...embedded with very special sentiments that you have so beautifully expressed. Love it...
    Well Done. Lol, Olwin.

  • 14 years ago

    by Anthony M

    I suppose the spirit mentioned could be interpreted to have multiple meanings, and perhaps that is the intent; let each reader take from it what they will.
    It reminded me of a mother letting her child go out into the world to find his/her way and become a man or woman. The singularity of something breaking free from it's family in each stanza carrying the spirit of the adventurous child.
    Nicely written with proper grammar and spelling which always brings a smile to me :)

  • 14 years ago

    by The Queen

    I am impressed by this piece of yours Sylvia. Keep up the good work :]

  • 14 years ago

    by The Queen

    Congrats on the win :]

  • 14 years ago

    by Faithless

    I like how you compose the your words, surrounding the departure of departed person. It's set a very nice euphoric tone in times of grief. You totally deserved it. Congrats on the win;)

  • 14 years ago

    by anand singh

    First let me say congratulations on the win.You deserve every ounce of recognition for the tallent you possessed.

    This is another awesome write with great imagery.
    An enjoyable read.Keep up the great work Sylvia.
    Paul...

  • 14 years ago

    by anand singh

    First let me say congratulations on the win.You deserve every ounce of recognition for the tallent you possessed.

    This is another awesome write with great imagery.
    An enjoyable read.Keep up the great work Sylvia.
    Paul...

  • 14 years ago

    by Lost Innocence

    Wow this is nice

  • 14 years ago

    by Robert Daniel Long

    YOUR WORD SPOKE TO MY HEART

  • 14 years ago

    by Jim McMillen the man within

    A very beautiful & relaxing poem Sylvia & so well written & expressed . Isn't it wonderful to be able to see the majestic beauty in all of these .....Gods creations ....5/5...Jim

  • 13 years ago

    by East Poetry

    Wow... you are an amazing poet.
    I cant help but wonder... who is this
    Person or spirit you refer to... I want to
    Say God, for his spirit is in all things. And
    All things are in him as well. 5/5

  • 13 years ago

    by yogi73

    Such a big and mature piece! wow. I really enjoyed this.

  • This piece literally gave me goosebumps!
    WOW! It's kind of left me speechless.
    But well done.