I hate him...

I always thought that this life God chose for me was great..
I always thought that the day would never come that my heart would fill with hate.
My dad (Jim).. Well he's the hate I feel.. He's the pain that's begun.. And he's the only one..
I don't know what to think of him, how to think of him, or maybe if I should be thinking of Jim.
He's done so much to hurt me. Said so many lies. Promised me EVERYTHING but, never followed through, so why do I try?
He promised my Mom he'd take care of me. Promised that she chose the right one to make sure her little rose wouldn't wilt.
But I feel my Mom look down on me and she's filled with guilt, she didn't want this.
Maybe it's my fault he's like this. Maybe I'm the bad kid. Yet I sit here and think.. "There was nothing bad that I did."
He's not the person everyone though he would be. He's not exactly the right dad material for me.
I wish that I could change everything. It's to late and I've already tried to fly with a broken wing.
So I sit here daily thinking what my life would be like without him. Wondering if my light wouldn't be so dim..
So I hate him dearly. I hate him true. I hate him sincerely. His time is due.
He's not my dad and never again will be. He can be a dad but not for me.
I gave up on my life with him. I need my light to be brighter, not dim.
I'm glad it's almost over because it was his fault. And when I leave his life is going to come to a halt. He lost the child the one he "held dear" well now he can't cause I'm not here...