Afraid to Fall

You want to love someone,
To let yourself just, fall.
But a force inside, holds you back.
Everytime.

You want to trust someone.
But how can you do just that,
when someone in the past,
betrayed just that.

You feel the connection with someone
But you're afraid to let yourself go.
Silly insecurities are burried deep.
I wonder, will they ever leave?

There are so many risks,
and i sometimes wonder,
how can i be such a coward?

I wanna fall, just let myself go.
But everytime i'm about to,
i freeze, i back out,
i coward away.

Why? why am i so afraid?
Even when i want to,
and i feel something for someone
i back away. Why?

Is there something wrong with me?
or am i just unwilling to take the risk?
I don't know what to do, but...

i hate myself, for cowarding away.
Everytime.

-Ally