Comments : The heiarchy

  • 13 years ago

    by JaM

    Hi there~

    The title of your poem caught my eyes and invited my curiousity your way. Just wanted to share with you that I like the concept you are expressing, it's definitely something that I think about often.

    Society is many things, that's for sure.

    With that being said, I just wanted to help you out with some minor errors, just spelling mostly.

    Condem(n), Plan (paln), your missing the o in controlled, and accessible -no sa before ble.

    There was a part there that I found most interesting;

    we have parents who are viewed 
as angles yet they lie and sin just like 
the child who know nothing about the world.

    although, I do believe what you're trying to say is "the child who knEw nothing about the world"

    Other than the spelling, that was a fantastic write. I'm always curious to see how others perceive society. I myself share similar view; society is the influence of the damned as far as I'm concerned.

    I love when a poem leaves me with things to think of, that shows how meaningful it was and powerful your words are to leave an imprint in my mind with it. Thank again!!

    Take Care,
    JaM.

  • 13 years ago

    by Pink Romance

    No, thank you Jam. I appreciate you help and diffenetly your reading. I made those mistake carelessly knowin I wa in a hurry to put I down on paper. I like thisnpoem also I can use more ryhm but it's okay. Society is an ongoing debate for me and diffenetly somethin I don't agree with. But hey see you around take care.