Me Beautiful?????

by WakingFreedom   Jul 6, 2010


The fog wrapped its naked fingers around me
As I walked through its body of mist
Hypnotized by the sun's finger paintings
Of crystal blues and glowing pinks

Why can't I be this beautiful?

And when the ball of fire disappeared
I was devoured by the darkness of peace
And the wolves howled to the stars
That fell like angels with grace

Why can't I be this beautiful?

I walked into the secrets of the woods
Only to stop and stare in a dazed awe
Dew blanketed the flowered ground
As the wind hummed a mystic lullaby

Why can't I be this beautiful?

I looked in the mirror upon my wall
And saw the sun in my eyes
A finger painting of my own soul
Shining so bright that it breathes a life

I smiled at the thought and saw again
That the stars freckled upon my face
Which fall with the howls of wolves
And like angels, with grace

I laughed at the notion and found again
You'd stop and stare in an awe
If I sang like the gentle wind
My own personal lullaby

Maybe I am beautiful...

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "The fog wrapped its naked fingers around me
    As I walked through its body of mist
    Hypnotized by the suns finger paintings
    Of crystal blues and glowing pinks"

    "suns" should be "sun's".

    I loved this opening, haunting at first and extremely inviting. The imagery just added to what you have to say and made me continue reading no matter...

    "Why can't I be this beautiful?"

    This question poses so much, I kind of feel a sorrow hidden here, because you are comparing yourself to what you see, when indeed you are equal in beauty, your soul shines with brilliance.

    "And when the ball of fire disappeared
    I was devoured by the darkness of peace
    And the wolves howled to the stars
    That fell like angels with grace"

    Great simile, plus the creative yet simple lines just struck me! "darkness of peace" was beautiful.

    "Why can't I be this beautiful?"

    Good repetition of this line...it has an impact.

    "I walked into the secrets of the woods
    Only to stop and stare in a dazed awe
    A dew blanketed the flowered ground
    As the wind hummed a mystic lullaby"

    Shouldn't "A dew" be "dew" ?
    Very mysterious yet awesome in majesty, nature is just stunning.

    "I looked in the mirror upon my wall
    And seen the hypnotizing sun in my eyes
    A finger painting of my own soul
    Shining so bright that it breathes a life"

    "seen" should be "saw".

    I liked this, you realize yourself that your own soul has that shine like the sun you love so dearly?

    "I smiled at the thought and seen again
    That the stars freckled upon my face
    Which fall with the howls of wolves
    And like angels, with grace"

    "seen" should be "saw".....

    Great job with this, confidence soars here..

    "I laughed at the notion and found again
    You'd stop and stare in a mystic awe
    If I sang like the gentle wind
    My own personal lullaby"

    The only thing I suggest is not repeating "mystic" and "hypnotizing" later on..since you have already established those words.

    "Maybe I am beautiful..."

    Four words that strike reassurance, lovely write dear, thanks for sharing.

    God bless you and take care always!

    ~MaryAnne

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