by yblehs Jul 9, 2010
category :
Love, romance /
rekindled love
A girl so innocent and young, |
by Lady Nik
Such a beautiful and creative piece indeed. I wasn't bothered by the length because you kept me interested the whole time. I loved way it flowed together like a story. Very well done. Nik |
by chind
That was a reallly long piece, but i really enjoyed reading it Like pingu said, i too thought that at times the rhyming seemed a little forced, however still a good piece. good work! |
A write of love and then loss and then love again. I thought it was good, some lines were long, a few stanzas seemed forced in rhyming. It was a beautiful write, just needs a little tuning. You've got great story going and i thought it was awesome. Nice job done. |
This is pretty well done for the most part, the flow isn't perfect but its not bad. I think adding or subtracting a couple small words in key places will make this piece much stronger. I think if you read this over a few times you'll find spots where words aren't really needed or could be changed to help with flow. for ex. |
by BREEawNUHH
This is really nice. I like how you changed the tune -- love, loss, and love again. It's cute. |