Failed

I've made plenty of mistakes in my life
But now I've made my biggest mistake
And it's cost me the one thing I cared about
She's gone because I acted like a jerk
And couldn't let a petty rivalry go
I pushed her away to the point of now she's gone
And only now do I realize that I've lost it all

The dirt used to feel good between my toes
Now I've lost all feeling in my toes
I used to enjoy standing in a gentle breeze
Now I can't even enjoy something small
The rain used to feel refreshing
And now it only makes me feel heavy
None of the small pleasures given me pleasure now

I wish I could go back in time
To each time that I screwed up
And fix it so that she didn't feel any pain
I wish I could make it up to her
Instead she's now bitter at the world
I can't help but feel responsible
All I can say is I'm sorry but it's not enough