Hurry Up and Wait

He is allowed
one pair of civilian clothes
Aka:"civies" as soldiers call them

Underwear
White socks, no logos allowed
Jeans
A shirt I bought him from Abercrombie
Brand new tennis shoes

I sit on his bed, knees
pulled up under my chin
pushing my pounding heart back into my chest
almost exploding when he throws his clothes into the bag
sharing the bed with me

Scurrying back and forth
back and forth
across his room, he
gathers more things that he will need
to be ready, to leave me

The navy blue duffel bag and my blue eyes have a staring contest
but as that bag keeps filling up
so does its ego, it knows
that it gets to go along for the ride to Ft. Benning Georgia
The bag wins

The military boasts a new private
He recites more items on his government
issued packing list

Old Spice Deodorant
Dial soap
Gillette razors
Two brown towels
Shower shoes

My head sinks down, lower
cheek bones in between my tightening knees
preventing me from talking
If I open my mouth, the flood gates
will break in my eyes

I think back to what his sister said to me
don't let him see how upset you are, he's counting on you to be strong for him.
I wonder if this is how all military families feel
hiding the tidal waves of emotions in our stomachs, and
Holding such a heavy weight on our backs