See

by MartyrAmanda   Jul 23, 2010


There's something to remember in forgetting,
There's something to see in blindness
I've made a new choice,
And rendered a voice,
Let this be forgiven

I cant see past
The censored past
It still makes my heart laugh,

I've dulled my hate,
But it still exists
I cant seem to see through this

Catching words like butterflies
Obscenely break
and absurdly cry
looking deep,
I see the sky,
but in your eyes,
No more tears to cry,

The washed up mornings,
The long dying nights,
I succumb,
Put up no fight,
Selfish to keep you
Empty when I leave you,
Whats done is done,
The pain is through
I will always know you,

[Readers-I have stuff better than this, I swear]

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Cyber Saiyan

    First let me say that I liked the poem overall but I think that it would be better off as a free verse poem. The rhyme scheme was too forced for my likes and I think that it took too much away from the point that your trying to get across. You were forced to use weaker words like CRY, SKY, VOICE, CHOICE; words that are very common and easy to rhyme. If you use a free verse, you could have used stronger words like DECISION instead of CHOICE, or I CANT SEE TO GET THROUGH THE ANGRY PASSION IN MY SOUL instead of SEE THROUGH THIS.

    On a positive note, I think that you have a great rhetoric style that I love to see (I use them a lot in my writing) like REMEMBER IN FORGETTING, and SEE IN BLINDNESS. You also used very powerful words like SUCCUMB and CENSORED PAST and DULLED. Many readers are impressed with words that are not very common in writing.

    I like that you ended on a rhetoric as well; that you were selfish to keep them, but unable to let them go. This showed a lot of conflict in the closing lines of the poem.

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