Forever a friend to you

by CaptainTyingKnots   Jul 23, 2010


We hadn't hung out in a while
But i was glad to see you smile
It felt just like it used to
Still there was something new about you

You talked about how you had been
I didn't know what to say so I just listened instead
So many things I had no clue about had changed
Leaving me to feel estranged

Is it me that's in the wrong?
Did you want me to belong?
And I just didn't see?
I was paying more attention to me?

I don't know what to think
As I feel my heart drop and sink
Tell me how to feel
Tell me what parts were real

I'm now lost in this with no direction
But I still have a lot of questions
Yet I can't ask
I can see you're wearing a brand new mask

You've built up a new wall too
This one completely surrounds you
And I don't know what to do
Cause I can't seem to get through

But even if you kept things from me
I always guarantee
That if you're ever feeling lonely
You can call and count on me

I'll forever be a friend to you
Cause time may separate us physically
But you'll always have a piece of me

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Bradley Peter

    I felt, personally, that the second stanza needed to be edited a lot, becuase it was too long in conjuction with the rest of the piece. I also felt, that in stanza five, the third line is far too short and the forth too long. I see what you've tried to do, but that's just my personal opinion. I also think you shouldn't of changed the rhyming scheme in stanza six and seven, as to me, it just seems odd. And lastly, on the negatives, I think the last stanza should've continued as the others, and had four lines to it. Sorry if it seems like I'm just trying to crap over your work, that's not my intention. I just want to help make you a better poet.

    Brad

    P.S. Please vote and comment on all the poems you read.

    P.P.S. I'm sorry that after 5144 views, this is the first time someone is commenting and voting.

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