Losing Control

I stand here shaking violently
Forced to control myself
My anger boils to a high
I can feel my blood pumping
So fast my chest starts to hurt

Every time she brings him up
I grab my chest over my heart
As it starts to pound harder
And the pain becomes stronger
And my lip bleeds from biting it

I'm trying to control myself
And refrain from losing control
But sometimes I think about it
And think that maybe I should
And let it all go at once

But I know that it's a risk
And not a very smart one
As I will probably suffer for it
Even if for a moment of joy
To follow it up with more problems

Sometimes I just want to
Lose all control over myself
And let the monster inside
Free to give me joy
Even if just for a moment