Hi. I don't mean to be mean about this, but I think this poem was simple, and not in the good way. They were simple rhymes, simple words, and, it felt like you were just trying to rhyme the whole time, and not really worry about what existed in the line before the rhyme. Also, the 'Hero i know you want to be here too', I felt, was too long, and totally disturbed the flow of the piece.

Brad

P.S. Please vote and comment on all the poems you read.