I like your style

This was absolutely beautiful and flowed with such well-portrayed emotions. I could definitely read this again, I love how you wrote this though and automatically captivated the reader. Very creative take I would say. Thank you for your sweet comment and God bless you all days.

~MaryAnne

Read this twice, it was beautiful. i liked the contrast you used!
the first two lines:

"You are a deep western ocean of love
and I'm a lost camel in a thirsty desert."
-beautiful. just perfect!

love that you want but cant get - that is the hardest ...

OK.....takin' a chance here but I got inspired
(I think)..and,
I'll only be around another week or so before I must focus on other elements of life..
and yikes!..I even changed a couple of words!...
and some technical details..
well......see what you think....
and please don't yell at me..'-)

Anyway..ike I said...you seem as though
you could write fairy tales......
maybe that's what this one is...

You are a deep western ocean of love
and I am a lost camel in a thirsty desert.

As your waves try to reach my dryness,
eastern wind blows preventing
even the shallow droplets from your water
to rest, neither over my glowing golden
grains, nor over my hard, dry, wishful dice..

Thirsty I remain, over this arid sand in front of your endless current..
Mad your waves remain in front of my unreachable wasteland

This, painfully, peacefully abides with
each untouchable desire.
Silent it lives with the unspeakable pain.
This, fragile burden that shall my misery tire..

For you are an ocean of love that
life's summers tries to dry..
and I am the thirsty camel of a desert
that life's winters shall never sate..

Oops....I meant to write 'try' instead of 'tries'...

life's summers try to dry..

The wording was a little weird in places. Other then that it was good. I like how you use things in nature to stand for things having to do with love.

rated it 5/5