I really like this. The way you transposed sadness into words, its very good. Youre a very imaginative poet.

Rock n' roll and blessed be.

Beautiful ending! i love how everything wrapped together in the end. I like how this poem was kind of a fast pace poem and i had to catch my breath to keep up with it but that made it all the more exciting to read! i really enjoyed it :D goood work!

In my book there are old yellow
pages, with fading ink on

Unreadable letters,
and un-understandable words

*Instead of saying un-understandable I'd say unfathomable. That flows better to me and seems less choppy.*

the are old stories & unfinished ones

*I'm not sure if you meant to say there are old, or they are old. Either way the are doesn't sound correct.*

lost dreams
and broken hopes
where light never beams
hearts bleeding as night
silently creeps

*I really liked the imagery here. It's creepy in a way but also beautiful. Very powerful images.*

houses without doors
and doors with broken keys

a princess with a rusting crown
a prince with a deep wet frown

In my stories it is never
they lived happily ever after
nor tales end with wine & laughter

*I like the use of rhyme here. It's simple and adds a nice touch to the poem.*

in my stories, life is a matter
of reality..
where hopes aren't trust-able
to seek
and dreams are too scared too speak

*I love the last line. Very clever*

there are lost cities,
all abondened and forgotten
streets are blocked and empty
yet black trees are around scattered

*I would change the way this line is word to "yet black tress are scattered around" That seems to flow into the next line better*

where the scene is clogged by
dust and noises that never ease

in my book it doesn't matter
where you go, and what you do
for in my book where ever you go
where ever you look
you will find no one but you.
In the middle of a desolated city
which has no end nor a start

city of love ghosts & their arts
city with stories about
all the haunted lost hearts

*I think this was a very creative piece and I'm glad I read it. Very nice work :] keep it up. Nik

First off, I loved the alliteration in the title, and also the title itself was very strong, Nana:)

And then I read the poem.....and it made me so sad..I know it is your life you are talking about. If I could, I would change it all for you. I want all people I love to have a happy life, and all I can say is fight, hunni..get your diploma and see to it you get a good job, maybe even work abroad...I know you are strong and I pray for the sun you so long for wil l one day shine on you eternally.

* huggggggggsssssssssssssssssssssssssss*

5/5 Ingrid

This is indeed very lovely!!! I'm fascinated with your poem. Sad yet very cute...!!! I just love it. God bless you!!! Shine more dear poet!!!

-Pink Butterfly-

I love this its like a twisted fairytale. 5/5 love the last stanza. ties it all together

I love how you have captured the life of so many and placed it this way, in a book. Not only was the poem very well written (although sad) but the idea was also very creative. I really enjoyed reading this one from you.

Each verse holds vivid imagery and it just flowed smoothly right till the end..yet another touching write beautifully penned.

Awww... wow this poem is so deep and it really affected me... I love how this poem is about the opposite of fairytales and happy endings... It shows that there are sad realities that some people face in this world... It's the sad truth and you expressed it so beautifully..
I love your word choice and structure... The poem flows extremely well!

In my book there are old yellow
pages, with fading ink on

^ An awesome way to start..

everything in here flow so well.. even the title!
5/5