Lost

by Brittney Follett   Aug 5, 2010


She is lost in this clamorous world, drowning in the voices.
Barricaded from her own desires, she makes ludicrous choices.
Her life is bright yet hidden and encompassed by corpses.
Their mouths consuming her, hands tearing her to pieces.

Damaged and disoriented, down a broken path she struggles.
Some wonder why she cannot find her way out of her troubles.
She has found it hard to move when her ankles are in shackles.
Lost with no escape in sight, her will to continue on crumbles.

It was at this time, on this path, when He found her.
He picked up her shattered pieces and glued them together
She was lost in the world, but now is lost in this savior.
During the storms in her life his eyes were her harbor.

Within these dark eyes is where she lost her sadness.
In them, she lost her wounds and became painless.
She lost her insecurities and was truly gorgeous.

It was within his eyes, that she lost her heart.

They walked down a path together, hand-in-hand
Advancing on, love obeying them at their command.
Leaving memories along with footprints in the sand.
There was no obstacle together, they could not withstand

One day she looked ahead and saw another path branching
She wanted to turn on it but he insisted to keep on going.
A decision was made: This is where they would be parting.

Still clutching his hand, she takes a step onto the new path.
Slowly she backs away, declaring her love as she cries.
She is knowingly entering a world only to be lost once again.
"I'm glad I had the chance to be lost inside your eyes."

***I'm getting a lot of comments on my rhyme scheme. If you take a look at my other poems you will find that they all of rhyme schemes... I intentionally mixed it up. The rhyme scheme is ... Lost.

Copyright by Brittney Follett

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Timothy r

    I like this poem quite a bit, I havent been on here in forever but this poem caught my eye..very well put together.

  • 14 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    This is beautiful. I quite liked the rhyme scheme being mixed up. Sometimes it's just confusing (in some pieces) but it works wonderfully here. Your vocabulary is simply amazing.

    The only thing I noticed that kind of might be confusing to some people is this:

    "She has found it hard to move when her ankles are in shackles.
    Lost with no escape in sight, her will to continue on crumbles."

    - The second line here.. I had to reread it a few times for me to understand it. Maybe it was just me, but I might try something like..
    "the will to continue has now crumbled."

    Maybe not. Completely up to you, obviously. :P

    In any case, I did enjoy this piece immensely. The length was perfect, your word choice was perfect, it was just great.

    Five out of five. [5/5]

    `Briana (:

  • 14 years ago

    by chind

    If you had not mentioned the rhyming scheme - i too would have been lost! haha Clever how you did that though!

    Honestly, these two lines kind of made me a little iffy

    "It was at this time, on this path, when He found her.
    He picked up her shattered pieces and glued them together"
    -theres just something about it, it doesnt feel like it belongs there, but again, maybe you intentionally wrote it that way!

    But other than that, i loved the rest of the piece.

    "They walked down a path together, hand-in-hand
    Advancing on, love obeying them at their command.
    Leaving memories along with footprints in the sand.
    There was no obstacle together, they could not withstand"
    - this was a very cute stanza :D

    well deserved 5/5 !
    clever clever

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I love an original rhyme scheme and felt the rhyme was a bonus that did not interfere with the flow and message of this great poem

  • 14 years ago

    by Chelsey

    ^^ Karl took the words outta my mouth. This was was brilliant! However I was thrown off a few times too on the rhyme scheme.

    But honestly, I loved it from beginning to end. I mostly loved the creativity in this. The fact that the title was one simple word "lost" and the poem incorporated that in so many ways.. I just loved this write and I'll definintely be reading more!

Read All Comments (6)

More Poems By Brittney Follett