Nana
You did such a wonderful job on your contest poem.

on either sides of the window lie
different images of people passing by
gazing where my lonesome can't go near
my eyes shiver till the lights of the streets
disappear

This stanza really touched my heart. It is very hard watching life go by when you are trapped inside.
Excellent job!
Love Cindy

Ok hunni, breaking it down for you:

On either sides of the window lie
long streets of lights, where life
passes by..
gazing where the air smells real
& where the dusk quiver till the
sun disappears..

^^
& is not done in a poem, ha ha, you could easily skip this all together, so just put a comma after the word real

dusk quivers << add an "s"

I love how you say the air smellls real, because that is something crucial, for those who are captive in their homes life seems unreal and all days are the same, no fresh smell that makes you feel alive.

where all the roads meet the sky
& where through the crowd my eyes
run by

^^
Where all roads meet the sky and
my eyes run through the crowd

this ^ sounds somehow better to me

there have been everybody-except " I "
through the breeze that blows forever
little trees dance along, as colorful
leafs fall & shiver

^^
lose the &, replace it by and

The breeze that blows forever and also the image of the little trees that shed theire leaves made me feel that the persona is trapped inside and endless loop and nothing to hold on to.

where the noises break the sharp
silence..where people voices make
a beautiful tense
where life makes completely a wider
meaningful sense..

^^
where noises break the eerie silence,
people's voices a beautiful melody
that broadens my horizon
and somehow sets me free

( just a suggestion)

there as the night darkens early
fun rests while, love echoes cheerily
through the yearnings of my eyes,
I can see journeys winding clearly

^^

This lucid state is common to those who are alone for a long period of time

on either sides of the window lie
different images of people passing by
gazing where my lonesome [heart] can't go near
my eyes shiver till the lights of the streets
disappear

^^ I would add that one word I put between brackets

Nana, this was a really deep worded poem about imprisonement, I am sure many can relate to.. many are subject to this feeling somewhere down life's path, eh?

A winner poem:)

*hugs*

5/5 Ingrid

Another amazing piece. I love your writing, it always creates such vivid images. :D

I just cannot express how impressed I am. I would have to borrow from the master to comment on this how may I speak of beauty lest she be the weaver of my speech. To say anything less could not even come close to the praise this poem deserves. The lines flowed within their selves and the rhyme was so subtle that only a fool could think anything here was forced...how inspiring!!!

SunShine,

Excellent write !!! you did a great job expressing the way it must be imprisoned behind a window not being able to get out and enjoy the world.

I liked the title and the feelings of frustration, yearnings & sadness this write captured..well done with this write dear :)

I loved this poem a lot & thought you definitely met the challenge. I've read it several times & have loved it even more each & every time...You did an excellent job!