Words Upon Frozen Lips

You I think did an excellent job, the flow was spectacular & the words really emphasized the darkness & feeling of being so far from happiness..hope you find the light at the end of the tunnel soon!

Another amazing write !! This was such a sad piece. Your ending really hit home! I like how you used the same line in the start and end, i thought that it gave a nice effect to the piece. Well done lovely :D

Great read, though very sad, there is always Hope:)

Alone I walk a field of pure, and fine dimness
dreams are wasted, as moments grow aimless
from mile to mile, I breathe yet I truly live not
for I remember a home, who's paths yet I forgot

^^
Those last two lines are the only ones who have forced rhyming Nana...maybe something like this:
from mile to mile I breathe, yet alive I am not
for I remember a home, yet it's path I forgot

The part about the wasted dreams is so sad:(

And alone I smell the sharpness of this blind dark
each breath I take, trips deep down a colder mark
my soul recalls me as half of my heart turns to ice
and with a dying spirit I timidly step over pithy dice

^^
Sad wording, especially the heart turning to ice, the last line is really hauntingly sad..

Subsiding with falling memories along this long way
my frozen lips sink in warm tears yearning to pray
happiness once was a wish on the tip of my tongue
but alone I walked a field of pure, and fine dimness

^^
Once you no longer pray for happiness is when you turn bitter, sweetheart..I hope it will never happen to you.

and hopelessly I lost it all along.

^^
You might find it again!

Such a sad poem from such a sweet girl:(

Chin up, the world is out there, waiting for you!

* a big hug*

5/5 Ingrid

Your poems, especially these sad poems touch deeply and the way you write them makes it a beautiful read..very well expressed..take care.