My o my what a dark poem. You both have done an excellent job collaborating this, its seamless.
You both have a thing and should write more :-)

This was indeed a dark write with a tinge of sadness woven in for good measure. You write very well together. I enjoyed reading this one from you both. Well done!

This poem is really wonderful , you both make a great team , i love the 4 verses especially the last one . Mysterious charmer & Sun shine i am waiting for more poems .
i love the work in group because it gives a brilliant result
5/5 excellent

This is delightfully deep, and though I usually prefer happy endings, this is after all a dark poem.

Restrained by chains of shadow manipulation
Filling my ears with the latest fabrications. These lines to me reflect that evil or darkess sometimes hold us captive against our will and manipulates us toward despair and the latest fabrications are the lies that keep us from avoiding shadows

Descend the darkness of which within I lay
Forgiven not, I'm damned to lose my way
Fearing the end as shivering lips turn blue
Running from the unknown; laying in front of you

^^^
The first line is not proper English, why not try: Descending into a world of darkness and decay

The words paint an image so dark, it made me shiver..It is a state of one fearing death in all it’s horror!

Restrained by chains of shadow manipulation
Filling my ears with the latest fabrications
I've become a puppet stringed up by lies
Surrendering myself for the ultimate demise

^^
Surrendering myself to

Now the picture changes, it is a private hell,
caused by sickening mental manipulation…

A puppet stringed up by lies..how sad:(

For the dimness of a half memory jolted within
Controlling an untrue lifetime, unready to begin
Roving around a fatal end which I refuse to see
To surrender or not, lost within what's lost in me

^^
Untrue and unready stops the flow, suggestion:
Controlling a wasted life, as darkness sets in

I adore that last line, very dramatic!

A faded symphony replaces the beat of my core
As I tip the hourglass hoping time flows no more
So the unknown will never darken these skies
And I will become blind to what lies beyond my eyes

^^
The last line is contradictory, for if you have never seen it, how could you know, so I suggest that you say: and I will stay blind to what lies beyond my eyes

What I get out of this last stanza is that the persona chooses ignorance above knowledge because it is too hard to bare.

This poem was great, feel free to either use my suggestions or ignore them and make some more, Danny and Nana, you two are a great team!

* huggies*

5/5 Ingrid

This poem was dark but really good. You two collaborating was a good idea! Great Job! The whole thing was awesome. 5/5:)

Oh my gosh! This was absolutely beautiful! I loved every bit of it, you strung your words together so amazingly, creating such a flawless piece ! The ending was very very strong. I loved it ! kudos to the both of you :D

Very seamless collab, it was definitely a pleasure to this! You both did an excellent job. You went above & beyond what I was expecting! Well done.

Wow!! This poem is amazingggg! I absolutely LOVE it! I was deeply touched by both your words and I loved everything about it..
The metaphors were perfectly written and I could even relate to parts of it.. It was dark yet beautiful!

Great job - and I must say you both collaborated very well and should collaborate with more poetry!

Well done!

A really great collab first off is what I have to say. The way the poem so easily flowed and the words spoke to the reader is outstanding. The emotions also in this poem where pouring from line to line.

"A faded symphony replaces the beat of my core
As I tip the hourglass hoping time flows no more
So the unknown will never darken these skies
And I will remain blind to what lies beyond my eyes"

So much sadness can be felt from this one part. It actually toke me awhile to decide which one I would add because the entire poem in itself was simply amazing. Good job and keep writing.