What you can't see

I get up every day, walk to class
Do my homework, and hope to pass
When I'm done I go to a job I hate
Work all night, and go to bed late
Everything seemed alright at the start
How is it all of a sudden falling apart?

You can't see the storm behind this smile
Perhaps it's optimism, or just denial
You can't see that I am freaking out
And say "wow, she's got something to smile about"
I smile about a boyfriend I never see
And every night thank god he loves me

My bright eyes hide my inner fears
Because I never let them cloud with tears
You think I don't worry about paying my rent
Or know that my paycheck's already spent
I turn my iPod up and sing along
As loud as I can, to every song

I stare at the inbox in my phone
And silently realize that I'm alone
I wonder if he even misses me
Even though no one will ever see
I throw my head back and stand up straight
And come off like i love my dear old state

I laugh and joke and drink and smile
Even though it hasn't been real for a while
My friends call me loyal, loving, and smart
They can't even see I'm falling apart
I want so badly to go home
But instead, I sit here and write a poem.