No Good

A moment please
For nothing
It's beautiful isn't it?
Oh no, it's awful
It's chaos

I wish things would spiral
Out of my control
Showing spontaneous arrays
Of spectacular light

Wishing does no good
For I am no good
It seemed
I managed chaos
Much better

Now I'm all alone and
My evenings are quiet
But oh so noisy

Yelling, screaming, hollering
'Let me out' it says
I simply respond
'You are out
in every way I can manage'

It's crazy
I'm still locked away
I want out
People
They keep slapping my hand away

They holler just as much as my head
'You are no good. You did this.
You don't deserve a cage.
But we know it was
The best you could do'

I believe them
So I stay
Involuntarily in some
Sense of the word

So I say I don't care
I push those away
Close enough to do damage
Because
I know
I'm no good