A Night Haunted by Memories

Ever since we became friends
I haven't gotten much sleep
too busy expressing feelings
that I'm holding in so deep

I got a bunch of open doors,
just telling me to come
but if you're not by my side,
my work here isn't done

I can't just live my life
and leave you here with him
when I want you as my wife,
it would kill me from within

But when I look and see the ring
it really makes me want to cry
because I loved you like no other
and didn't even get a try

I know we're getting older
and our lives are changing fast
But I just can't sleep another night
without you in my grasp

I love every time we touch
it makes me feel like I'm alive
I've never felt that way before,
besides with you and I

But here's where the problem lies,
you're pregnant with his kid
And engaged so him
so I've lost my will to live

You tell me that you love me,
one day we'll be together
and when you're by my side
you've never felt a feeling better

But then you leave my house,
headed back to your home
where you and him are one on one,
with all this time alone

That's when I sit and wonder,
what you and him are doing
Kissing, laying side by side,
now my whole night is ruined

My friends tell me, "forget her,
she already made her decision
if she loved you, it'd be your kid
so why do you still keep giving?"

It makes me question myself,
does it make me less of a man
for loving somebody else
more then I could ever understand

You tell me you don't want to hurt him,
you don't know what you want
you want me here for you
while I feel like throwing up

The thought of not having you
keeps making me feel sick
I'm fighting to find my strength
but it's a fight I'm losing quick

You possessed all that I wanted
you were all I would need,
now I'm continually haunted
all these thoughts taunting me

Every night I try to sleep
but I stay wide awake
Trying to find myself an answer
while my heart slowly breaks

You lay with him every night,
don't want to hurt him at all
When I've been hurting since I heard it
that's the worst of it all

I sit around pretend I'm fine
but to family and friends,
They easily see that I'm hurting,
slowly dying within

I never dreamt that it would come to this,
and still don't want to let you go
I alway's thought that you would be my wife
with kids, just us, you loved me so

If you really love someone,
you should show it, always let them know
So, if you really loved me
you wouldn't be worried to let him go

I think if you really love someone
you'd never want to see them hurt...
So when you look me in the eyes,
how don't know you see what my love's worth?