Good story, the ryhming is spot on, the metre could do with a bit of work but overall an enjoyable bit of poetry. I really like dark tales. Good subject matter, keep up the good work.

Hey Rishi,

Interesting story , poor guy though hahaha

Ron

Soft Parade and Ronald Edwards, thanks for your suggestions. I am new to poems and quotes and I have submitted three poems till now. I too love dark tales. But nowadays its a rarity to read dark poems which rhyme! Thanks to both of you :)

This story is really scary i don't like haunted houses i'm getting chills