Comments : One of those nights

  • 14 years ago

    by XoXoBriannaoXoX

    This is really a great poem.
    i can relate very well to this.
    so thank you for writing this lol.
    but i really was beautiful.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Such a very sad poem over here, you have penned down one of those poems when you make the reader feel like your letting ur feelings all out..

    tho its a free verse I just think some lines would sound a LOT more better, i wont give suggestions but I wil let you knw which I think you can really play more with :

    And you hope that someone hears you
    So you won't have to lie anymore

    The days that you feel
    Worthless
    Stupid
    And all yu want to do is sream.
    >>over here nothing to change but I think u missed both the letters o in you and C in scream :)

    You just wish it would all
    Just go away.]
    >>i really can relate to that

    But maybe one day
    Just one day
    You'll wake up from the dream,
    It will all get better
    >>a very wise ending, and I really like it, but I think you no bet can reword it in a very effective way

    in all cases
    5/5 for this

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    Any line you have that starts with 'and' or 'so' the word can be removed, it will flow a lot better that way, they are silly fillers that you don't need. Other than that, a nice poem that a lot of us can relate to , I so know what you're talking about!