Remember Me

'In the distance, there you where.'

Vague introduction. The distance could mean anything. Be more precise. Where was she? What was she doing?

It's spelt 'were' by the way.

'Watching, the beautiful display of the sun.'

Avoid the word 'beautiful' at all costs unless it's being used for irony. It's a cliche in a word. What makes this particular night so special? Is the sun rising? Setting? Stagnant?

'Kissing, memories away.
Touching, the soul from within.
Living life, not in the distance of this time...'

These are abstract images, and love poems these days should reveal concrete, precise images that really express and communicate at the same time.

What you've done here is merely express.
I know you're capable of good work, this is a little short lived, and vague for my tastes.

Good to be back.

I forgot to rate sorry haha

Ur remember me..kicks mine in the head.
I just love ur word choice
and I love the wording and the imagination..
very creative

5/5
gd luck :)