Raining

by D   Sep 26, 2010


I want to walk outside
in the stormy autumn night.
I want to let them free
all the things that live inside of me.

I want to walk and watch
all the millions of tiny spots.
I want to let them fall
the tears closed behind the wall.

I want to walk and hear
how my voice is letting go of fear.
I want to let it all be shown
my heart, my mind, my soul.

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  • 14 years ago

    by Beautiful Chaos

    If you worked on the flow of this piece it would be great, it was a nice read and I like the subject, not a bad job over all.

    "all the things that live inside of me."

    I would remove "the"

    "I want to walk and watch
    all the millions of tiny spots."

    The second line needs a bit of reworking to go with the first, just as an example:

    I want to walk and watch,
    A million tiny spots

  • 14 years ago

    by H. Elizabeth

    Awesome =)