Poem In A Bottle

by Sunshine   Sep 27, 2010


The title is the name of the Challenge/so it's a Contest poem / but this will be a true story, about a lost relation ship.
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Never had the ocean flopped wilder
than the day I saw it calling your face
As angry waves reaching up to the sky
then crawling helplessly toward the
sleepy shores,
lapping against my numb feet..
I too, returned to the heart of the sea

In search for the bottle that was faithfully
holding my words.
Ones you never had the chance to read
but perhaps you would,
if the poem ever reached you!

I penned down how your heart beats
always seemed to echo with the mystery
of the sea..
How your rhythmic love, with tender fingers
slowly caressed my years-
yet lost me.

Only if you walked for a while,
maybe another smoochy mile,
around these golden shores
You would hear the sighs
that I breathe from my heart..
For if only you search for a while
you would feel my touch when the
water sweeps over your skin

you would find my words behind
every dying sun
or catch me whispering gently
when the cool breeze whistles
in your ears..
or when you inhale me, as you
deeply breathe

But I never had the ocean roaring wilder
than today
In search for the bottle that couldn't
hold tighter onto my words , along my way.
Fighting against angry waves, that
paved it's path through our past..
The glass shattered to pieces-
just like us
And the blue ink faded into
the color of the sea
Sinking in salty memories-
just like me

By: Rania Moallem

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Jess

    Great poem 5/5!
    I Really Enjoyed The Creativity!
    Keep Writing!
    Will You Please Rate And Comment One Of My Poems Too?
    Thanks And Great day To You!
    -Jessi.

  • 14 years ago

    by Spirit

    Wow.
    This poem dragged me under refusing to let go. I found myself trapped in the words on a white screen, unable to come up for air, but not wanting to.
    This was a great poem and you should be proud of it.
    I thank you so much for the read.
    >~Spirit~>

  • 14 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    I have to agree with all the other comments , maybe one of the best poems I have read in a long time. Brilliant works

  • 14 years ago

    by Daisy if you do

    I love how you seperated the title, Relation and ship into two seperate words. It gave more of an impact when reading it as it went on to talk about the rocky seas and therefore emulated a sinking ship (relationship) I didn't care for the word usage of flopped or smoochy and I thought the seriousness of the poem was altered with them. Very nice poem that many of us could relate to. Great Job,
    Take Care,
    Kay

  • 14 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    Wow... this poem is amazing! so emotional and deep... I loved every word... It really touched me and I'm really in awe. You write about such vulnerable feelings so beautifully... I love the way you can create such lovely imagery with sad emotions. I love how you talk about yourself as though you are the ocean and I loved the title of the poem. I really enjoyed it. The whole poem was amazing but I must the ending was my favorite part:
    "Fighting against angry waves, that
    paved it's path through our past..
    The glass shattered to pieces-
    just like us
    And the blue ink faded into
    the color of the sea
    Sinking in salty memories-
    just like me"

    Beautiful words!! When you wrote about the salty memories, it reminded me of a time when I was crying because I was so upset about something and my tears actually felt like the salty ocean and it stung my nose! (my nose was running too since that always happens when I cry)

    Wonderful poem... And you really deserve to win!

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