Comments : Love is Jealous

  • 14 years ago

    by White Orchid

    I loved this poem! I loved how you described jealously like an inner person that just wanted to come out, very cool and descriptive. Nice job! :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Ingrid

    I like this poem, but when you change it around just a teeny weeny bit, it would be even stronger. Compare what I am going to do now with the original and see for yourself what you think is better:

    How come I can't stop her, from her hostile takeover?

    My secret companion, hovering behind me.

    Waiting to strike, till I'm feeling down.

    Watching my every step, my weakness she found.

    Coming out when you ignorantly leave my side.

    And when you do, her wrath I can't hide.

    Her screams , my lips are restraining.

    It's not your fault, it's her that I'm blaming

    She speaks without even thinking.

    Your unthoughtful actions, are the reason I'm sinking.

    One day the two of you will meet, but the question is ,

    Will she cause our defeat?

    I think many people will recognize this feeling.

    Well done:)

    5/5 Ingrid