With You.

>> This poem is such a wonderful piece. I do see a lot of flaws in it though. I think you're a great writer and the way you explain your feelings in this poem is beautiful. However, I think you need to watch out for your spelling. when a poem is written I understand the rushing thoughts that go through your mind to put this poem together. Sometimes we forget about spelling and grammar. Mostly because I think that we're trying to rhyme and make the poem sound good. Also I noticed you used some slang, I think slang should be used only if the whole poem consists of slang language and not proper words. I think it makes the poem sound too rushed and you write the way you speak. Which is fine, but with poetry in order for the reader to understand it, it would be a good idea to stick to only one way of writing. Although this is my opinion I will correct your poem for you, and its up to you to fix it or not. Only an opinion.<<
PS. Evaluate each stanza and read through my notes so you can understand what I mean.

I look at you with a smile so you think (nothings)<< You need an apostrophe between g and s. you are separating two words by using this symbol (') Nothing and Is.<< wrong,
Yea (Im) <<Apostrophe needed<< hiding this pain now() <<you need a coma.<< but I (cant)<<Apostrophe<< fake it much longer.
You make me feel like I (dont)<<Apostrophe<< belong,
But from all this(,)<< Use a semicolon (;) it helps separate sentences without using a period too often.<< I wish I could say (Ive)<<Apostrophe<< only grown stronger.

I (didnt)<<Apostrophe<< know how naive I (really)<<You can leave this out sort gives the poem an extra word that it can do with out.<< was (til)<<This is where slang comes in. I feel it makes the poem a little too rushed and because this poem is very good it sort of throws off the picture you're trying to paint in the reader's mind. So maybe you can use the entire word Until<< I looked back on it all,
The times (youve)<<Apostrophe, or maybe you can just use You instead of You've I think the "have" is not needed for this part.<< used me()<<Coma needed.<< but I kept running back.
The times (youve)<<Apostrophe<< said you cared but was only there to watch me fall.<< this line I can totally relate to. I really like the intensity and the simplicity of it.<<
You watched me fall deeper and deeper into the black. <<For this line you may want to indicate or describe what you mean by "black".<<

I believed (it)<< This word is not needed. When you use this word it is expected to sort of describe or say what the "it" means.<< when you said forever,
I told myself our love was real even though it (wasnt)<<Apostrophe<< close to being true.
And just like that (were)<<Apostrophe. This word is a good example of how these kind of errors can throw the reader off. The word "were" and We're are completely different one is only one word the other is separated by an apostrophe that means it has to words together and are joined by that symbol.<< no longer together.
You have no idea of what (your)<<Apostrophe needed. Again the same thing I explained on top.<< putting me through.

I don't want to miss you, but I do.
Bleeding to know I'm alive,
is this what you want me to go through?
Well that's how I feel when I'm with you.

When I'm with you I don't want anyone to see,
because they wouldn't understand.
They couldn't understand (wat)<<Misspelling, you forgot to out an H<< it's like to be me,
I feel strand(...)<<Not needed.<<ed,
when I'm with you.

I (cant)<<Apostrophe<< help but wonder...

Wondering how I could hold on knowing that (Im)<< Apostrophe needed.<< about to go insane,
(Well)<< I don't think you need this word to start this line it weakens the poem.<< for every time it rains, (dont)<<Apostrophe needed<< worry, (its)<<Apostrophe<< just my tears.
That of what you do to me is not even half of the pain,<<This whole line needs to be re-thought. Maybe re word it or leave it out. Again, it weakens the poem.<<
The hardest was thinking that losing you was my biggest fear.<<This line is a bit redundant. Maybe put "Losing you was my biggest fear".<<

Now (Im)<<Apostrophe needed<< just wondering what it would have been like if you stuck around.
Asking myself, What if he stayed would things get better or worse?<< Again, I don't think you need this line because it was mentioned on the line before. Probably just say "Would things be better or worse?"<<
Could this be better for the both of us?
(Im)<<Apostrophe<< sick of having to always scream and curse,
Just to get through to you.

Asking myself, Who do I run to since your no longer guna be in my life?<< This is where I feel there is too much slang going on. This is how I would write this line, "Asking myself, who do I turn to since you're not longer in my life?" or "who do I turn to since you're not going to be in my life?"<<
Why do I feel like such a mistake? I wish there was another way.
You (bein) gone is hopefully the end of my stuggle and strife.<<I this line should be re-worded. Maybe say "With you being gone, will hopefully, be the end of my struggle and strife."<<
Im relieved yet heartbroken that your gone, I had so much left to say.<<I think this whole line should be taken out. It's redundant and weakens the poem.<<

I don't want to miss you, but I do.
Bleeding to know I'm alive,
is this what you want me to go through?
Well that's how I feel when I'm with you.

When I'm with you I don't want anyone to see,
because they wouldn't understand.
They couldn't understand (wat)<<Misspelled<< it's like to be me,
I feel strand(...)<<not needed.<<ed,
when I'm with you.

Well.... it feels so good to know (your)<<Apostrophe needed<< gone,
my life's in control now that (were)<<Apostrophe needed.<< through.
Your heart isn't were I belong,
I'm glad to say I'm not with you.

Because I don't (wana)<<Misspelled<< be with you... with you.

>>Overall, I think this poem or song, (it felt like a song), is a very nice piece of work. I think you have a lot of talent and just by checking your spelling your art will be much more amazing and easy to read. keep doing a wonderful job! :)
4/5