This depression has sucked me into a dark hole,
I don't know what's going on, there's nothing I can control.
The knife has become, my best friend,
I don't know what to do, the pain is never going to end.
There's nobody to talk to, things have turned out so bad,
I don't even know why I've been feeling so sad.
Things are turning out so much different than I thought they would be,
I just don't know who is going to be there for me.
Nights are getting worse, and I don't know what to do,
The knife is my only comfort, it's always there for me too.
The cuts are getting worse, the pain is such a thrill,
I don't think anybody would understand, even when they say they will.
I hate the way I hurt people, but I don't want to stop,
I'd rather get drunk and high, at least have a reason to feel on top.
But those things only make me forget for awhile,
Sooner or later I have to paint on a fake smile.
I'd rather pretend and hide behind a mask,
I just don't know how long it will last.
The pain is a distraction, from how I really feel,
I don't know what to do, I don't want all of this to be real.
The cuts have gotten worse, from how they used to be,
I lie down at night whispering; "I don't want to be me."
I don't believe the words other people say,
And I really don't understand why they would want to stay.
I lie to people saying; "I am fine",
But they don't know that I've already stepped over the line.
They don't know that I truly want things to end,
They have no idea how much I have to pretend.
It's harder to hide, I'm scared that people know.
I don't want to hurt them, I just want to let go.
I don't want to be here, it's too much to bare,
Why can't I just end it? Who would even care?
