by quiet lullaby Oct 3, 2010
category :
Sadness, depression /
other
Darkness Tricks My Mind, |
Pretty deep stuff you got going on in this poem. I really enjoyed the feeling of despair and hopelessness in this ( I think somewhere in all of us we have that feeling at times ). Just a suggestion.... I think it would read better if you didn't capitalize almost every word in the poem, and I picked up on one misspelled word ..."controll" should be control. These are only suggestions that in my opinion would make a great poem even better. Hope no offense is taken. Thank you for your comment on my poem, I will be looking forward to reading more of your work. |