Then A Smile Opens

by quiet lullaby   Oct 4, 2010


Softly Touching My Neck,
Sending Shivers Shooting Through My Body,
Relaxing My Every Muscle.

And Then A Smile Opens...

Gently Massaging My Throat.
Excitement Racing Through My Body,
Warming Me Deep Within.

And Then A Smile Opens...

Tightly Wrapped Around,
Causing My Heart To Beat Louder Through My Body.
A Standing Nervous Wreck.

And Then A Smile Opens...

Falling, Yet Caught In The Noose.
Haltered, Not A Breath Through My Body.
My Eyes Tightly Closed.

And Then A Smile Opens.

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Jim McMillen the man within

    Actually I liked the repetition because I saw it as the prelude to & the reason why the smile opened 5/5...Jim

  • 14 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    I sort of liked the repetition myself but then everyone to their own. Reason we don't all dress the same lol
    Diifferent, but very enjoyable read

  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    I don't think you need to capitalize every word, just important words. Other advice I can give you is that I didn't believe the repetition really fit this poem, it didn't seem like that line went well with the overall mood of the poem. You definitely have a lot to learn but I'm sure you will improve. You've got a good start though.

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