Comments : Alone

  • 14 years ago

    by quiet lullaby

    Hey, i loved this poem, i think the structure could do with a bit of a revamp. Just to make it easier to follow and read. I hope you don't mind, but here is my suggestion,

    I'm torn inside 'cause i was tossed aside and left to die,
    as i sit and wonder why you treated me like dirt.
    why you got to do those evil things baby?
    'cause you know they hurt.
    I use to be on top of the world,
    lovin' everyday of my life.
    But now you've got me just wanting to give up and die.
    'cause you got me thinking,
    there is nothing left to live for in my life.
    I say screw it.
    I just jump into the dark abyss,
    'cause my life ain't worth any of this stupid $h¡T.

    I sorted out your grammar a little bit too, sorry.

    Anyway just my thoughts, still a great poem.

  • 14 years ago

    by Shane Hazelbaker

    Took me like 10 mins to make

  • 14 years ago

    by Dominique Lewis

    Ur poems r all very nice. i couldnt of wrote it better myself. i love it!;]