Fossils Of Patience

by Sunshine   Oct 9, 2010


All June I instill roses in streams;
I end up next season collecting
fusty leaves!
To retract or implant, disappointment
distracting my eyes

*But there is somebody within me
always transcending reality
A companion of wisdom
yet a victim of truth

Asked too many questions
as I waited too long
Whenever I held my pen
to write down my shameful resignation
somebody held me back..

*Planting a new mysterious journey
Igniting hope through me..
A companion of nature
yet a victim of life

Still years passed me by,
from June to June ;
weeping more goodbyes..
For each rose that festered
too soon.

*As I completely lost the voice
that once used to arise in me..
A companion of patience
yet a victim of wrath

-It's only as you start losing hope-
you start losing your path

By: Rania Moallem

^^^Contest/poem about patience

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  • 14 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    `All June I instill roses in streams;
    I end up next season collecting
    fusty leaves!
    To retract or implant, disappointment
    distracting my eyes`
    ^A brilliant opening stanza, which emphasizes patience in a unique way - couldn't have said it any better myself. Interesting word - fusty, I never heard of that until today.

    A companion of wisdom
    yet a victim of truth
    ^I loved this, it sounds like a famous quote, it's that powerful...perfect wording here.

    *Planting a new mysterious journey
    Igniting hope through me..
    A companion of nature
    yet a victim of life
    ^Loved the continuation of the metaphor...using the idea of replanting roses in the spring as they have died because of the winter. Also loved the repetition of 'A companion of... a victim of...' , love how it's kind of a paradox here.

    POWERFUL ending, loved it! It's so true, once you lose your patience, everything seems to just fall apart. It's truly important to have in life :)

  • 14 years ago

    by chind

    Great piece nana! I love the ending, and the truth instilled. I really like what you did with lines 8-9, 17-18 and 26-27. HOW CLEVER!

    A great write nana!

  • 14 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    Authentic delivery with enough raw, and simultaneously deep, insights to create quite clear communication
    of your intentions..

    examples:

    "A companion of wisdom
    yet a victim of truth

    A companion of nature
    yet a victim of life

    A companion of patience
    yet a victim of wrath"

    "....there is somebody within me
    always transcending (so-called) reality"

    there is somebody within you alright..
    .....YOU!

    Seeking our balance is
    how we stay busy
    while being patient..

  • 14 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This is great you delivered a strong message that flowed so smoothe and as free as the seasons

  • 14 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    It's only as you start losing hope-
    you start losing your path

    How true this is!! When hope is lost all else
    vanishes with it leaving one in a hopeless
    situation. While reading this poem it felt like a conersation within oneself..a deep write indeed.

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