Comments : Heartbreaker

  • 14 years ago

    by Sunshine

    This is a really sad poem..and ur last line..was the strongest for me...how hard is to to be with someone who doesnt really have emotions.

    But Im used to more strong poems by u..the one b4 was really impressing...so if u dnt mind ill have simple suggestions.

    Heartbreaker,
    You stole my heart.
    Please give it back,
    Without it, I'm falling apart.
    ^^^
    would be stronger if u dont use it and it twice..like the repetition is killing the emotion
    in the line..
    maybe

    please give it back
    before I fall apart

    Heartbreaker,
    You're being too cruel.
    Please help me,
    You're turning me into a fool.
    ^^^the way ur saying please is just heart breaking...been pleading again and again..its making me feel how personal this poem is..

    Heartbreaker,
    I'm begging you to stop.
    Stop breaking my heart,
    I'm falling and will soon drop.
    ^^^i donu there is something off here..
    maybe if u reread it..u can do something better about it?

    Heartbreaker,
    Give me my heart back
    Or whatever's left of it
    ^that's left
    I need every piece that's cracked.
    ....this is too sad..too emotional..too heart breaking to ask for ur broken pieces..

    Heartbreaker,
    You've taken all of me
    ^^this is harsh..well said tho
    Please leave me alone
    And just let me be.
    ...i think its a bit forced over here

    Heartbreaker,
    Please give me back my heart
    You already won everything
    My heart can never be restored like the start.
    ^^^this stanza speaks a lot..its like u given all u got for that person who obviously done nothing more than damage..and all ur asking for ..is to be left alone..so u pick up ur pieces..
    VERY sad!!..well said

    Heartbreaker,
    My love for you is real
    But I can't survive like this
    I can't be with someone who doesn't feel
    ....this was my fav...very deep and spoke
    more than the ones b4 it..and summed it ALL up..i think was a wise stanza..
    my only suggestion which aint necessary is if u say
    I can't be with someone who lacks the ability to feel ..feels more rich..but its ur poem..ud knw better..

    definitely a 5/5..a poem from ur heart..which id never think a less of..
    i hope to see new work soon

  • 14 years ago

    by White Orchid

    This poem was awesome too!! I thought it was heart wrenching and very emotional. I loved the last line too when you came to the realization that you can't be with a person who doesn't feel anything for you and just keeps breaking your heart. I thought this poem was VERY sad, but VERY good write. :)

  • 14 years ago

    by Boy

    Heartbreaker. nice name to give a loveones when they hurt and left us... good job here too 4/5