Painful

I must admit,
from the bottom of my heart,
there is a fear,
that so happened to start.

I never thought,
it would have to be used,
but now in life,
you leave my heart as a bruise.

So many words,
gathered too fast altogether,
pored on me,
corrupting my paining weather.

It's hard to believe,
that all of what happened is true,
But we live on,
and there is still room for me to love you.

I cannot think,
everything's a blur,
All I want is pain,
which is what I deserve.

Your words towards me,
make my actions out of my control,
maybe a stab in the heart,
would've been less painful.