Comments : Gentle Soul

  • 14 years ago

    by Jad

    This makes me speechless and makes me also a little jealous. You have painted a beautiful poem with your simple words and also your good imagery. I liked the lesson your grandfather taught you and how it applied and how you saw it. My jealous comes from the fact that I have never known my father and makes me wish I had one I could say is a good man. Anyway a great poem that was short but went right to the point so that makes up for it as you get everything penned in the few lines you have. Great job and keep writing.

  • 14 years ago

    by sibyllene

    Wow, Jane. This is just beautiful. It doesn't rhyme, but there's still a sense of words with similar sounds, that fit together perfectly and give a gentle rhythm to the whole thing.

    This feels like a poem you'd run into in some great anthology of famous works. You'd open to the page, it would open you, and you'd wish you'd known about it forever. It really is simple and wonderful and so full of love.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sunshine

    Sitting alone
    together once upon a time,
    ^^^I love how u didnt let us know with who..made this opening line very catchy ..tho showed that this is more like recalling a certain memory yet..made me excited to know with who!
    Wise beginning~

    and when I was young enough
    to believe in all the good of the world,
    my father told me
    to have a gentle soul.
    >man!..u knw this if we think about this..it's profound tho simple..cause u have stated a real fact..its true that wen we are young we
    DO believe in all the gd in the world..And i did not expect ..to read the word father..

    He said, "My darling, you take
    all the hate you find in your heart
    that will come,
    and yes, it will come -
    you take it, bury it down deep;
    make sure you keep it fast asleep."
    ^^^MMM these lines made me sigh..i hope ur proud..sounds a very wise man..cant find words better to be told for a daughter..such a way to have less burdens..indeed!

    Then my father, he stood and bent
    his head to mine;
    his hand beneath my chin,
    pressed his lips to my brow -
    hard
    ^^this part is described in a very very very welll way.. maybe i just needed a push to cry and this was a hard one.. u wrote this obviously from ur heart..and infact was a general message for all of us..to learn from ur fathers words..

    And I knew then, as I know now,
    my father is a good man.
    ^^^ A gd conclusion actually..am sure all the readers figured it out b4 they reached ur last lines...
    You have no idea how this little wise peace of urs has touched me..i never met my father. He passed away wen i was 40 days old, and to see how much u appreciate your dad ..I can bet he is so proud!

    5/5SURE

  • 14 years ago

    by TJ Arizona Eagle

    I lost my father at the age of 7, this made me tear up a little. An awesome poem for a father .excelletn

  • 12 years ago

    by L

    Rhyming and meter is not always important and it doesn't define a poem. So I really like this piece and specially what the author realize at the end. Very good.