I am hurting
I want to be treated better
Without cursing or anger
I want you to stop punching walls
Cause it bruises and makes me feel like nothing at all
I want you to care about what I say
Because you love me and
You want to keep me to stay
I want you to treat me like I'm the best
Even when you're with the rest
I want you to really demonstrate that I am a priority
Because I truly feel like , to you, I'm your minority
I want the words to stop ...b****...crazy...psycho...robot
I want to feel good with you...safe and warm loved no one else matters
I want to feel like you listen
I want to be happy with you
And right now all i do is hurt
I hurt so bad that I sit here in pain
Not even crying, just numb, surging veins
I want RESPECT
LOVE=RESPECT
I hate you walk away from me when I talk to you
I really don't know what to do
I feel like we're past the sinking ship
We are now the Titantic
Before when we are dating I did not see this
The anger, your frustration with me, lack of emotion for me
I feel dead, alone, empty, dirty broken glass bottle
As I sit here on the couch I write these words
Because I cannot make it into the bed with you
I feel hurt
Hurt so bad that its hard to breathe
How did we get here?
Sometimes this nightly loneliness makes me think
And say what the hell are we doing
I was very confused
I want things to be better and
I am not sure you see how bad they are
I say come home come home
I get no, no
Don't you love me?
Don't you care?
I fight for you
Even when you don't want me
I feel like you leave me in the ringer
I stay home waiting for you loyally
And when I think and type as the tears come down
In the twilight hours of this lame town
I write this as a plea please make things better with me
Because I hurt, so bad
Depression kicks in and I remember all the bad times and
It hurts me more
I had a confidence no one can break
But now I come down like an earthquake
Don't be more mad at me this is the only way I can show
My real insides towards you
I feel like nothing
But I want to feel something
I still love you
But I want you to fight to keep me
As I fight to keep you
Help me rebuild these broken walls
Put up the framework so it does not fall
Cause Again, I am hurting
I feel so small
And then I think when did it all go wrong
For you I am letting everything out
Cause maybe, maybe you will understand
I pray to God on nights like this
I tell him God what is in store for me
Is it this?
I ask him why does it hurt so bad
The words, the action, why am I so sad
I say God help me help me cause I am helpless
I have no one to get me through this
I don't have my mother, my friends nor you
Because when we talk there is no getting through
I feel emotionally beaten
Beaten so hard again I become numb
I never felt like this, I cant feel like my stupid thumb
I am not asking you to stop drinking
Even though I pray to God you will
I hate drinking and I wish you didn't and
That is my fault cause I met you
Knowingly that you are like that
But the outness and lateness
Just come home and listen
It makes me happy
But when you don't everything comes back
Then it becomes a tumultuous cycle that goes round
Ring around the rosie, here we FALL
I question you , then words come, then hole comes,
Then B**** I HATE YOU, then door shuts
Then you say its my fault
I'm not blaming you but me
Because I aided in this cycle indefinitely
But I asked GOD and I know its not my fault your anger
I know because I pray and I know I do other things
But name calling, nothing makes it okay
But this is minor, just part of a whole
Now it is 4:23 and I cannot sleep
I wish you would come out of bed and comfort me
See that when this happens I don't sleep
I lie awake tortured for hours
Hoping that sleep will creep in and the next day I have a happy face
Lick off the wounds and say its okay
I go to the mirror and made myself think I'm worthless
Because I cause all this
I feel like you don't deserve me
I feel like I am less than you
I feel like I'm not worthy of you
Because I cause this
I feel like my personality distances you
But why don't you build tolerance for me
Like I have so much for you
One more time, as I write, I pray to God
That this touches you
I don't know the end result
But these are my words pouring out of my soul
This is my most inner desire
Because I truly have nothing else
This is as I feel my only shot
So I'm giving you everything I got
I feel this is easier because its words
Not said face to face
Therefore no damage
I pray to God do for us that is best for us
ME and you
Or me without you
Or you without me
I pray to God what is in store for me
Give me strength cause I don't have any
I am very vulnerable
I pray to God
Hopefully
