Monster

by sibyllene   Oct 24, 2010


My dreams are stuffed and crowded with monsters
both human and beast:
all with the light of cruelty in their eyes,
all with sublime and inescapable power,
all who smile wanly and dismissively
as I rage, rage, with all my will against them.

My dreams are swarming with monsters
who take far too long to die.
I stab and stab again,
I want to smite but lack the stomach for it-
I miss every throbbing artery,
every bundle of nerves.

I stab and slice and crush and the monster succumbs,
slowly, so slowly. As the end nears
the blood washes the ground, coats my hands,
sprays my face, and
there is a sudden fear in the beast's eyes, a
humanness that chills my heart, and I tearfully
wail my sorrow and my hatred as I plunge forward
for the final stroke.

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  • 14 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Thats a very dark write... about the monsters in your dreams ... but somehow I could relate it with the kind of tsruggle we do each day in our life... fighting away monsters of a different kind.
    well written

  • 14 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    I know this place.
    The feeling life is critical to our humanity.
    We Have to care;
    the abyss magnetically beckons.
    I am crying.
    Thank you,
    Poetry.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sunshine

    My dreams are stuffed and crowded with monsters
    both human and beast
    all with the light of cruelty in their eyes,
    all with sublime and inescapable power,
    all who smile wanly and dismissively
    as I rage, rage, rage with all my will against them.

    ^^^omg..^^wow..i must admit for an opening , this is too deep..I love the wording.. its perfect! then. The adjectives ad the vocab and the way u used them actually was REALLY poetic and DEEP...love the repetition of rage..made an intense..

    My dreams are swarming with monsters
    who take far too long to die.
    ^this is very painful and really dark!

    I want to smite but lack the stomach for it-
    I miss every throbbing artery,
    every bundle of nerves that would end this.
    ^^ i got such a bitter picture of someone suffering over here..a very bitter description thats worded in a perfect way

    I stab and slice and crush and the monster succumbs,
    slowly, so slowly. As the end nears
    the blood washes the ground, coats my hands,
    ^^i am not sure but something felt wrong here..if u wana review..but i may be wrong at the same time..so Sorry just felt like it XD..
    sprays my face, and
    there is a sudden fear in the beast's eyes

    ^^^this is amazing..truly amazing..i just love the way u said..sudden fear in the beast's eye..u knw u gave me this impression about someone too mean and too bold ..facing his weakest moments..
    , a
    humanness that chills my heart, and I tearfully
    wail my sorrow and my hatred as I plunge forward
    for the final stroke.

    ^^oh..damn..amazingly worded! such a very gd imagination..I think the way this was written all together was really unique.
    Not what we usually see. Besides it didn't sound like fiction..it have this face of humanity and how we humans are at certain levels..in certain places..for certain purposes .

    Well done! 5/5 no bet admirable

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