Comments : The Little Things

  • 14 years ago

    by Sunshine

    I have told someone, that they are Very wise..your words reminded me of them ;)!
    I can't agree more..with what Brit has said..Tho I still get the negative part.Personally this poem reminded me of US ppl, who are fooled by the big things around us, and the things that sparkle the most. Yer we forget that not everything that shine IS gold!.

    We do follow the rules and wee stick to it. what I'm trying to say is, we as humans, as US always have a model to represent beauty ..strength etc for us. Yet we forget about the things that would represent that and what are are feeling better..
    Esp wen you mentioned this :

    You speak of red roses;
    fairest of gentle maidens.
    Dare you to think upon
    calm whites that grace
    a grassy ballpark?
    ^^PErfect wording, and yes
    what about the calm whites that DO grace a grassy ballpark?..It's such a shame that we do forget about the things that comfort us, without we know.

    You speak of mountains,
    but what of
    soft inclines
    that stretch the sinews
    of your calves?
    ^^^Well for less details I think this stanza was really good, it is such a perfect indirect comparison here, to bring mountains and the soft inclines , into the same stanza. We should seek tenderness as much as greatness..I think

    You speak of oceans,
    but what of a shower missed
    one morning
    to find you stumbling
    through your day?
    >this stanza is REALLY comforting ..dnt ask me why tho.

    You speak of redwoods,
    but what of shrubs?
    Mighty by their own right;
    weeds of the spreading
    sidewalk undergrowth.

    -both of the other last 2 stanzas been described and penned down in a coherent way. Right word of choice, and strong wording.
    >I think the last one tho, held the strongest msg.

    5/5 for sure

  • 14 years ago

    by Jad

    I really liked the overall idea of this poem. The many things you give the reader to think about. You made the depth of this poem very mature in some areas which is a good thing and also the way you worded the stanzas and in making them in three lines was great as well. The imagery was also wonderful in parts as it gave a clear description of what you wanted the reader to see.

    "You speak of greatness,
    but what is greatness
    in the journey
    of odd jobs and
    mopping the kitchen counter?"

    This really by far was my favorite stanza as you ended it all with greatness which by far I think that even in what you are doing mopping the kitchen counter could be considered great as it gets you one step closer to the future and in becoming who you really are. I think so at least. I will end by saying that the overall poem was a great read and I was pulled in from your first stanza until the last one. Great job and keep writing.

  • 14 years ago

    by Sungrl And Mrs Whatsit

    "mountains, oceans, redwoods,
    roses, gardens, greatness....."
    etc.

    cohesive, full-bodied and thoroughly visual..
    I enjoyed it very much;
    good for you.