A Letter To Mom, First letter From Prison

First Letter From Prison

Friday Day 12------ 3/24/2001

Hi Mom

How have you been feeling lately?
Have you been taking good care of yourself? I sure hope so. I have been taking good care of myself, and so has the lord. He keeps me in good spirits. I feel that after all that life has dealt me, this is nothing new. It's just a time to gather my thoughts, and redirect my life. I feel that God has refined me through trial by fire enough that I can finally see how he shields me from the true heat of the flames. 1 Corinthians 3:13. After all he gave me a mother like you, didn't he? Even as unworthy as I am because that is just how he is. I find it so easy to look around me and see so many
blessings in life that I am surrounded by, such as a thankful heart to acknowledge them. That is the beginning, and God blessed me with that some time ago.

Saturday Day 13
(See Dedication)

Mom, I feel that one of the first blessings that God bestowed upon me was to give you the father that you had; because his love and understanding is what developed the fiber of the character that you are.
As I am almost as thankful for the father that I had because he is such a contrast to you. Life is so full of contrasting environments.
I am thankful to have guidance from both elements.
Because it has taught me not only how to handle life's ups and downs, it has given me the wisdom to know how to balance out the waves and obtain a calm sea !

You know Mom, times are so much more turbulent now, than they were in your day, and because of that, today's children need guidance from someone that is a product of both environments.
You know Mom, from the day of my birth, it has always been so easy to listen to your voice and heed your warning, because it came from such a warm and loving heart. But I am also thankful to realize that Dad gave us the other elements that we needed in life. I see it as so much more than just, what to do, when to do it, and how to get it done

Sunday Day 14

He gave me an early realization that hardships are not a bad thing, just a necessary fact of life, that not only gives you strength, but balance, that creates an appreciation for the blessings you receive, and that in itself makes the blessings so much sweeter, that you begin to realize the hardships are a blessing in disguise.
Monday Day 15
A butterfly has no beauty when you look at the cocoon, but without it where would he get his strength to spread his wings and fly. That only comes from the struggle of breaking through. Maybe the beauty lye's in the fact that the cocoon is self imposed, and the release is a struggle, achieving a personal feat of accomplishment, bringing forth a creature of such beauty beyond compare to it's former self . The cocoon is not a prison
of confinement, but rather a sanctuary of asylum .
The true beauty is the metamorphosis within, the butterfly is the proof.

Tuesday Day 16

You know Mom; I know that I can talk to you like no one else on earth. and that is because you're lack of persecution, allows my freedom of expression to flow. It is so hard to show your loved ones where you
are truly at in life, when in their minds you are still guilty of your wrongs from so long ago. Because of alienation, that is where they see me at today. You are one of the very few that truly know the progress I have made by leaps, and bounds in the last few years.

Wednesday Day 17

Mom, you know that my life has not been easy, and I thank the lord for That. He loves me enough to chastise me, and I would not change a thing ! Deuteronomy 8:2-5 Ephesians 3:16; 4:23 Hebrew 12:5-8 Hosea 6:1-3

Mom, I am not counting the days that I am in here because the time does not matter so much. I have numbered them on this eight-day letter so my loved ones can see that my progress was made before I came here ! I don't want the government to get credit for my transformation in life, that would be like thanking the cancer for the cure!
God designed me as a caterpillar, Romans 9:21
My hardships have been my cocoon that I spun myself into,and the lord is responsible for the metamorphosis of the creature that I have become. So let God have the glory and maybe I can share a little of it by being a product of his design Hebrew 3:3

I thank the lord for giving me the power to turn my wounds into wisdom.
So Mom don't cry for me in your heart for where my body is, but rather laugh out loud in joy for The Man Within. Read my 4 poems Someone I Once Knew--One and the Same--The Light From the Tower and The Brightest Diamond.

Mom from your continuous support, my freedom of expression is allowed to flow.

Thursday Day 18
Mom, after my release that is what I truly need, the personal contact and support of my family. I want them to know who I truly am ,
because the anger of my alienation, destroys the eloquence of my soul, replacing it with an overwhelming feeling of apprehension.
That is when my sanctuary of asylum, reverts back to a prison of confinement. Trapping the one that I call, The Man Within.

Friday Day 19
Mom, I pray that this letter gives you the reassurance that you need not worry about me, for I have lived in a much worse prison than this and for a lot longer time. This must be my halfway house, for I feel that I am almost home! So let the man within continue to flow so
that I may express my Attitude of Gratitude.

I love you Mom
Jim

Attitude of Gratitude

A.. After-------------------------G.. Greatness.............
T.. Trying -----------------------R.. Requires...............
T.. Times-------------Of---------A.. Assertion..............
I.. I-------------------------------T.. Taken.................
T.. Truely------------------------I.. In.........................
U.. Understand------------------T.. Time.....................
D.. Depressing------------------U.. Understanding.......
E..Emotions----------------------D..Developes ............
-----------------------------------E..Enormously............

Turning Wounds into Wisdom

Pain has to be more than just suffering the consequences of a mistake, it is the releasing of the hurt, creating a void.
A void that is to be filled with the knowledge of that experience. Those are the two main tools for any improvement. The more you use those tools, the bigger improvement that you create So if you must experience pain, try to gain knowledge from it!